Knowledge and Understanding: The essay shows reasonable knowledge of the film, a

Knowledge and Understanding:
The essay shows reasonable knowledge of the film, and responds enthusiastically to the assessment brief. Technical vocabulary is, in parts, used accurately but, elsewhere, is more confusing and imprecise. It’s not really necessary, for the purpose of this essay, to explain the range of different shot types in cinema. It would be better to focus specifically on what kind of cinematography we see in the film, and its effect. The quotations included are relevant, particularly the extended quote on mise-en-scene. That said, you could provide more of your own explanation to frame the quote, and explain its relation to your analysis. The assessment brief also stated that there is no requirement for external research on this essay, so, while it’s encouraging that you’ve engaged with relevant scholarship, the emphasis here should really be on your own textual analysis of the film. Overall, this is a promising start, but there are some areas to work on for your next assignment.
Argument:
The essay makes some interesting observations, but many of these are rather convoluted and difficult to follow. There is an attempt at analysis, and this comes through in passages, but is not really sustained consistently throughout. Check all names and titles used in your writing, to make sure you have everything correct. The title should be Portrait of a Lady on Fire – inaccuracies with details like this tend to suggest a lack of care and attention to detail, and undermine the overall persuasiveness of your argument. I think you can take more care when structuring paragraphs, so that your ideas develop from one to the next. On the first page, there is a single-line paragraph, which should really be part of the surrounding paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, and give some shape to the structure, but the argument could be more carefully developed.
Presentation:
This is the area that could be improved the most. The essay would be elevated by a more detailed focus on making sure your ideas are being conveyed as you intend them to be. Proofread to avoid small errors and typos, like “Protrait”. Also, for an analytical essay like this, try to avoid informal abbreviations like “doesn’t”. The formatting of references is very promising, though some improvements could be made. Compare your references against a referencing guide to ensure they are formatted correctly. Overall, some promising signs, but scope for improvement.
Take slightly more care with how your ideas are communicated.
– Proofreading would help to develop a more persuasive, detailed argument.
– Try to avoid unnecessary details, particularly with such a short essay, and focus on the most relevant aspects.